Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
