how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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