omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
