i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
