wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
