I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
