omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
