I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize