im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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