the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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