so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize