This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Randomize
