Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
