The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize