Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
