i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
