Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
