so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
