We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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