Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize