NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
