Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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