I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
