Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
