it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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