he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
