I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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