New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
