Do you still have your period?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
