is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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