awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
