This girl is more easily done than said...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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