Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I love having hate sex.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
