planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize