Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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