I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
