feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize