I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
