he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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