never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
