Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
