After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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