So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
