Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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