We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
