dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
