Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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