Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
