Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
