we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
