My room smells like vodka and shame
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
vagina is talking i cant
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
