That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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