yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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