You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
