hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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