Cold hands, warm shart.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
