omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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