Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
