Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Reggie can tackle my bush.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
