We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
