I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Houston, we have a squirter
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
