Don't you send me to vm
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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