so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
