I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
how drunk are you?
Several
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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