therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
