i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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