She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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