R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
where am i from again
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You left your phone here
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