Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
