The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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