i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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