We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
