You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
