I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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