i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize