She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
no you cant smoke seaweed
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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