we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
