Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
