She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
